Joke

I had one boss who used to say to me, 'I don't see color. I don't care if you're white, black or purple.' Purple? Really? You don't care if someone's purple? 'Cause that's gonna set off some alarm bells for me. - Drake Witham

Comedy crowds -- we always want to come out and ask you, 'How you feeling?' We always say that, 'By a round of applause, how do you feel?' Right? 'By a round of applause, how you feeling?' It's the only place in the world that you judge how you're feeling by a round of applause... There's never like a car accident, people all over the ground, people running over -- 'Ma'am! Ma'am! By a round of applause, how do you feel? By a round of applause -- she's not clapping!' - Dane Cook

Hollywood's Motto: You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony. Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says, "I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy." Not to be outdone, Britney ripped a $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy." Not even noticing Britney's stupid move, Christina bragged, "Look, I'm going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier." At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy."